The dark logic behind Gretchen Whitmer's black Dorito 'Eucharist' mockery

Last week, many online were treated to the unwelcome, uncanny sight of Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D) attempting a viral moment with the Harris-Walz base — by acting out a vaguely pornographic feeding video involving another woman on her knees and a Dorito chip. Why, God? Why?

There are answers to this question, deeper than whatever superficial excuses and explanations will doubtless flow from the ick-soaked aftermath.

Their health, their children’s health, everyone’s health, their very identity, justice itself demanded that we all destroy our personal and social dependence on the leadership and priority-setting of strong, competent men — because true health, true identity, true justice, true freedom, and true pleasure could only be created through artificial means.

Those who have been too online for too long surely felt a pang of not-so-free association when they hazarded a click on the transgressive vid, by any measure, a first for a politician not of the late Western Roman Empire. Yes, the clip calls to mind nothing as much as the infamous old image of one girl gripping a kneeling other by the ponytail, “forcing” her (although not really) to drink deeply from a bottle of milk.

But we’ve come a long way since then — milk is much too wholesome, too natural, and too (let’s face it) white to make the cut in the cursed realms of content pitched to drive votes from the swelling ranks of the willfully unattractive and deviant.

Out with the milk, in with the Dorito, a meme food standby with viral lore of its own that need not concern us here. However consciously or unconsciously meditated upon by the perpetrators of the Whitmer stunt, it is a parody of the body of Christ administered at Communion for the healing of soul and body.

However tasty in modest doses, Doritos are spectacularly unhealthy — because of how artificially engineered they are. An illustrative (not exhaustive) list of the product’s franken-features includes artificial ingredients, artificial colors, artificial flavors, ingredients “derived” from animals treated with antibiotics and/or growth hormones, hypertension-inducing levels of sodium, and processed sugars, fats, grains, and more, all with de minimis nutritive value.

The truth about this engineered “doof” (as some call the class of fake food substitutes) is still — for now — scattered far and wide across the internet. One of the better summations of the facts comes from seven years ago on Reddit: “basically chronic disease in a bag.”

So why is the parlous state of the Dorito so important in an unholy inversion of Communion involving a female “priest” and a female “communicant”? Some might answer by going off in the direction of a critique of homosexual wedding ceremonies. I’d like to go a step, maybe a leap, further.

I think we have known for a long time that women are in such dire straits psychologically these days because they are now at the center of our demented elite’s plan to forcibly transform human beings away from their sacred given selves and into interoperable parts of a superorganism as artificially engineered and maintained as the Dorito.

It was men who were first subject to this bio-spiritual terraforming process, and some time around the ‘90s, it became clear to the elite that the life force of men was, in this mutative processing, beginning to hit a point of diminishing returns. The yield curve was flattening; new life force was needed; it was very difficult to make any more headway unless the true guardians of the family and of public morals — women — were swiftly organized en masse for immediate processing.

In order to do this, women had to be convinced that not only was this process good for them, but it was also indispensable, a must. Their health, their children’s health, everyone’s health, their very identity, justice itself demanded that we all destroy our personal and social dependence on the leadership and priority-setting of strong, competent men — because true health, true identity, true justice, true freedom, and true pleasure could only be created through artificial means that disfigured and destroyed the grip of our given sacred selves on our “choices.”

There’s no need to go on and on about this — we are living out the reality of that program being well on the way toward completion. Look at (for starters) the birth rates, the prescription drug addictions, the depression, the psychosis, the ever more dramatic and disturbing forms of disfigurement and defiance of the most basic elements of the given self.

Just one big thing is missing and that is to explicitly create an official religion, a theocracy, through which converts forced and voluntary, can ritually pretend to annihilate the Christian protection of the given sacred self and erect a new, artificial “sacred” — one in which the ultimate symbol and expression of the new divine order is the use of machine-made false food to seal the artificial union of post-human women into a cyber-organism productive of artificial life.

The disturbing thing is that, to many, even now, this all sounds ridiculously farfetched when the basic outlines were already very well-developed even before "The Matrix" came along. Remember "Alien Resurrection" (1997)? This has all been going on for a very long time. The difference is that now we can actually start acting out in real life what was previously the province of fiction — and that, as a result, people are ready to accept it as normal, inevitable, or, indeed, the best of all possible worlds, where today’s monsters must crawl so tomorrow’s demigods can fly.

Yet in that sense, there is nothing new here, no grand breakthrough beyond the ancient doctrine of redemption through sin. For feminists, women, men, and everyone else, the ultimate wages of this perverse theology are on visceral display in a theater near you in the form of the stunning fable "The Substance" — a film I would really like to know if Gov. Whitmer, who really brings that Demi Moore energy, has seen or even plans to see.