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Blaze News original: Have a laugh at supremely stupid crime suspects who gift-wrapped their arrests for cops — part 1
Image source: Marion County (Fla.) Sheriff's Office, composite

Blaze News original: Have a laugh at supremely stupid crime suspects who gift-wrapped their arrests for cops — part 1

One bungling burglar actually used a credit card he stole from a home on Christmas Day to have a pizza delivered to his apartment.

Laughter is good medicine, and we at Blaze News are more than happy to contribute to the health of our readers with stories that not only inform but also get some guffawing going.

While crime and stories about criminal activity generally aren't comedic, sometimes crooks do dumb things amid their capers that lead to their captures, and getting the lowdown on the degree of stupidity can be fuel for laughter.

Video also showed two of the teen vandals brazenly twerking atop the hood of one of the cars.

That said, we bring you part 1 of dumb things dumb crime suspects do. (Yes, there are plenty of brainless bad guys out there, and we want to cover as much ground as we can and keep the laughter alive, so part 2 is already in the works.)

In this list, you'll get a taste of what it's like to have $18,000 in high-end merchandise in your hand and a free pass to run out the door of the store — only to smash yourself into a pane of glass (that must have been so spotless that you couldn't tell it was there) and get knocked out cold. There's a tale of crooks who unwisely chose to rob a jewelry store near a U.S. Marine recruiting station; suffice it to say, the Marines weren't having it. Then there's our story about a shoplifter who targeted a Walmart that was filled that day with 75 police officers doing a charity event for kids. Naturally, things didn't end well for the dumb shoplifter.

So kick back and have a laugh at part 1 of supremely stupid crime suspects who gift wrapped their arrests for cops:

Sheriff's office dubs duo 'dumbest criminals' of the week after they gift cops with extravagant clues that lead to easiest capture ever

Marcus Reeves (left); Robert Hobby (right)

Image source: Marion County (Fla.) Sheriff's Office, composite

The Marion County (Florida) Sheriff's Office dubbed a pair of crooks the "dumbest criminals" of the week in October 2020 after they left evidence behind at the scenes of their alleged crimes.

The arrestees were 41-year-old Robert Hobby and 23-year-old Marcus Reeves, WCJB-TV reported. Police said the pair went on a burglary spree in Ocala and Marion Counties, breaking into several convenience stores and stealing lottery tickets and cigarettes.

But cops had no trouble catching them. Apparently, they left behind several incriminating items in the stores they robbed, including a shoe, tools — and at the top of the list, Reeves' wallet, which contained his ID. Police said Hobby and Reeves also were caught on camera smoking cigarettes in the stores while they were committing their crimes.

The suspects were arrested after police went to Reeves' residence and confronted him with the evidence. Reeves reportedly confessed, and the two went on to face a whopping 14 grand theft and burglary charges.

Stupid shoplifter tries stealing $727.86 in items from Walmart while 75 police officers are in store for 'Shop with a Cop' charity event

Image source: Michigan State Police

A woman who tried to shoplift $727.86 in merchandise from a Michigan Walmart didn't get very far — namely because 75 police officers were in the store for a "Shop with a Cop" charity event.

State troopers from the Brighton Post were participating in the Dec. 2, 2023, event at the Genoa Township store, police said. Genoa Township is about an hour northwest of Detroit.

Police said Shop with a Cop gives area children, through donations from local businesses, an opportunity to partner with police officers and shop for themselves and family.

"We bring children that might otherwise not have a good Christmas get to come to the store," Lt. Rene Gonzalez of the Michigan State Police told WJBK-TV. "They get $100, sometimes a $150 gift card to go and shop for themselves or family."

But amid all the good cheer — not to mention a high concentration of law enforcement personnel — one woman got the bright idea to try a bit of shoplifting.

Police said a Walmart staff member notified a trooper participating in Shop with a Cop that a female was trying to steal $727.86 in merchandise from the store. The 62-year-old suspect just loaded up her cart and waltzed through self-checkout, WJBK said.

"Groceries, clothes, all kinds of stuff," Gonzalez told the station. "It wasn't bagged up. And then she walked out of the store with it."

She ignored a clerk who asked for her receipt, made her way to her car, and then began putting items inside her vehicle, WJBK reported.

Police said the trooper Walmart notified had another officer look after the child he was with and then caught up to the suspect in the parking lot. Police said the suspect, strangely enough, had parked her car next to a gaggle of police patrol vehicles that were there for the event.

"I do have to say it surprised me because when I'm driving a patrol car, people slow down," Gonzalez remarked to the station regarding the brazen nature of the caper. "When you see 75 cops in the store, I mean, I don't know if maybe they thought we were too busy."

WJBK said the suspect was arrested and taken to Livingston County Jail. The station added that while she bonded out, she will be charged with retail fraud. WJBK said court records indicates she has no priors — just some traffic tickets out of East Lansing — and that it will release her name once she’s charged. You can view a video report about the incident here.

'Brazen' and brainless: Teen rips off $18,000 in Louis Vuitton merchandise, runs to store exit — and knocks himself unconscious after slamming into glass window

Photo by: Jeffrey Greenberg/UCG/Universal Images Group via Getty Images

A 17-year-old thief sure picked the wrong day to leave his brains at home. The youngster was caught on surveillance video ripping off $18,000 in merchandise from a Louis Vuitton store in Bellevue, Washington, running for the exit — and then knocking himself unconscious after slamming into the store's glass door.

It isn't clear when the broad-daylight caper occurred, but KOMO-TV ran a story about it Oct. 27, 2022. Fox News, citing police, said the suspect grabbed the pricy handbags off displays and tried to skedaddle from the store. The problem for the perp? An exit he apparently thought was there but wasn't. Indeed, he ran headlong into the plate glass and knocked himself out, KOMO said.

“Brazen is the perfect word for it,” Bellevue Police Captain Rob Spingler added to the station.

Prosecutors told KOMO the teen was part of a retail theft ring that includes a convicted killer and career thief. The teen's name wasn't released because he is a juvenile, Fox News said. Police told Blaze News the teen was arrested and then released to a family member. You can view surveillance video of the hapless would-be heist here.

Smash-and-grab crooks quickly discover that targeting jewelry store near US Marine recruiting station is a really mindless move

Photo by Roberto Machado Noa/LightRocket via Getty Images

A group of smash-and-grab crooks learned the hard way that targeting a jewelry store near a U.S. Marine recruiting office is exceedingly foolish.

The incident unfolded at the Del Amo Fashion Center in Torrance, California, on the afternoon of Dec. 20, 2022. Police said four suspects wearing hoodies and covering their faces used hammers to smash glass cases at a jewelry store and then ran off with numerous pieces of merchandise.

That's when Marine recruiters from a nearby recruiting office jumped into action.

With the help of bystanders, the Marine recruiters were able to tackle two of the suspects and hold them down until police arrived. The two other suspects got away.

A man who would only identify himself as Ralph recorded part of the incident on his cellphone and said he was doing last-minute Christmas shopping with his wife when he saw the robbery.

"[It was] the Marines. The Marine Corps. ... They stepped up, they tackled them down," he told KTTV-TV.

"Two got away, two got tackled down, and they stepped it up," he added. "That's enough. Time to fight back."

The two suspects the Marines detained were minors, according to police, who also said officers recovered a "large amount" of jewelry. The jewelry store owner didn't want to be identified, but he said that it's a family-owned operation.

"It's getting wild in the streets now," Ralph added to the station. "It's about time to fight back, enough's enough. A lot of stores are closing down just for this, the smash and grab." You can view a video report about the incident here.

Homeowner shoots burglar, but fleeing crook abandons car at scene. That dumb decision leads to his arrest — as well as a big break in crime spree.

(L to R) Deonte Daniels, Cornelius Johnwell, Leroy Freeman, Fredrick Dotson

Image source: Nevada Department of Corrections, composite

The combination of a gun-toting homeowner with a good-enough aim and a repeat offender who made a critical error leading to his arrest helped break open a Las Vegas-area crime spree.

A Las Vegas homeowner in a gated community told police he was in an upstairs bedroom around 7:30 p.m. Feb. 7, 2022, when his dogs started to growl, KLAS-TV reported, citing an arrest report. The homeowner checked security cameras on his phone and saw four hooded and masked individuals attempting to break in to his residence, the station said.

With that, the man went into his closet, got dressed, and grabbed his gun, KLAS reported. After the burglars got inside, the homeowner walked to a balcony that opens to the floor below and shot five times at three of the suspects, the station said, citing the report. All four suspects ran from the home, police told KLAS, adding that a bullet hit one of them.

Afterward, police took note of an unregistered Audi parked in front of the victim’s home near Cimarron Road and Oakey Boulevard, the station said, adding that the VIN number was connected to a Texas woman with the last name Freeman. An hour later, a 28-year-old man — later identified as Leroy Freeman — arrived at an area hospital with a gunshot wound, police told KLAS.

Police matched clothing seen on the home's surveillance video to two suspects — one of whom was Freeman — and cops arrested him on charges of home invasion, burglary, and conspiracy to commit burglary, KLAS reported. A second individual also was charged with the same three charges, but the name was redacted due to that person's age, the station said, adding that information on the other two suspects was not provided in the report.

Turns out Freeman not only was wanted in connection with nearly a dozen burglaries, he also was under police surveillance days before the homeowner shot him and had served prison time, KLAS reported in a separate story.

Freeman faced 11 counts of home invasion and nine counts of residential burglary in a suspected regional crime spree that began in November 2021, the station said, citing court documents and police records. Police in Henderson, Nevada — which is about 15 miles southeast of Las Vegas — wrote in court documents that in all the incidents, a group of two to four men wearing masks and dark clothing have broken into homes through back doors or windows, KLAS reported.

By April 2022, Deonte Daniels, Cornelius Johnwell, and Fredrick Dotson also were under arrest in connection with the crime spree, the Las Vegas Review-Journal reported, adding that one minor also was arrested. Freeman, Daniels, Johnwell, and Dotson all were listed as inmates in the High Desert State Prison.

Bungling burglar actually uses credit card he stole on Christmas Day to have pizza delivered to his apartment — but that merely scratches the lame-brained surface of a comedy of errors

Susie Wanner told KTVI-TV her family's Missouri home was burglarized on Christmas Day 2023, and gifts were stolen from under their Christmas tree — as well as credit cards.

Police said 32-year-old Jacob C. Scholtes used one of the stolen credit cards to have pizza delivered to his apartment just two days later. Then things got interesting, according to details in a St. Louis County Police Department probable cause statement.

By the time Jan. 12 rolled around, a male was arrested after he broke into the South County Mall, stole jewelry, and then tried to escape on an electronic scooter. Around 1 a.m. a mall security officer called police, who arrived at the mall and directed the suspect to stop. He ignored their commands and tried to scoot away, but an officer tackled him. He later was identified as Scholtes.

Police also found the suspect was carrying a loaded Glock 23 on his right hip, a knife on his left hip, and had a ballistic plate over his chest. Authorities also found pepper spray, a fake security badge, and stolen jewelry. Investigators discovered a broken display case at L.A. Jewelers at the mall, and Scholtes was held on a $30,000 bond at the time.

Then police collected data from the suspect's cellphone linking him to the Christmas Day burglary. Police searched Scholtes' apartment on April 24 and found one of the stolen presents and some Christmas gift wrapping scraps — along with a shipping label. Scholtes was charged with first-degree burglary and three counts of stealing, according to the St. Louis County Prosecuting Attorney’s Office.

KTVI asked Wanner how she'd describe the burglar after finding out he used a stolen credit card to order a pizza. "Uh, I mean, not very smart!" she laughed in response.

You can view a video report about the crime here.

Dumb twerking teens caught on video vandalizing business. Dumber still? Gang symbols were carved into company vehicles — and arrests are soon made.

Twerking teenagers were caught on surveillance video recently vandalizing a Los Angeles-area business called Pink Sponge Home Cleaning, KTLA-TV reported. The station said vandals broke into the Glendora business in the early morning hours of April 20. Surveillance video from a rooftop parking lot showed at least three teens carrying out vandalism, including blasting a fire extinguisher and chucking a large object at one of the company’s 25 pink Volkswagen Bugs, KTLA said.

Video also showed two of the teen vandals brazenly twerking atop the hood of one of the cars.

You'd think that today's teens are savvy enough to know that just about every business is outfitted with surveillance cameras but apparently not these two.

Dumber still is that police told KTLA gang symbols were carved upon some of the Pink Sponge company cars, and that led them to a juvenile suspect — a 15-year-old gang member from La Verne who was arrested in connection with the break-in. Authorities added to the station that they have the suspect's cell phone and are hoping to use it to find the two teen girls who were involved in the break-in.

Meanwhile, the outfit is picking up the pieces after 18 of its vehicles were heavily vandalized to the tune of $25,000 in damages, the station said. The co-founder of the company added to the station that their insurance claim was denied because Pink Sponge had been vandalized previously. A GoFundMe was organized to help the business with the cost of repairs and the loss of many of its supplies, KTLA noted.

You can view a video report about the incident here.

'You the dumbest f***ers!' Gun owner convinces cranium-deficient crooks posing as maintenance workers that no one is home — and when they try to kick down front door, he opens fire from behind it

Photo by Michael S. Williamson/The Washington Post via Getty Images

A Dallas man mocked two thugs who pretended to be maintenance workers before they tried to break into his apartment on Aug. 19, 2023.

Ethan Rodriguez told WFAA-TV the pair showed up to his front door, and doorbell camera video shows them speaking to Rodriquez who tells them no one is home and that they need to return later. Except Rodriguez actually is right behind the door.

The first suspect — who isn't wearing a mask — can be seen holding a gun and trying to kick the door down, and another suspect appears wearing gloves and a mask and tries to kick the door down as well. That's when Rodriguez starts to shoot at them from behind the door, the station said, adding that the pair ran off.

Rodriguez recalled to WFAA in reference to the suspects, "You the dumbest f***ers for not wearing a mask 'cuz I even got your name! Ever since the video's been public, I got a name and everything. I was just waiting on the detective to call me!" He added that he didn't recognize the suspects, nor did he know why they were trying to get into his apartment.

Police arrested one suspect and identified him as 30-year-old Aaron Contreras. He has been charged with aggravated assault, deadly conduct, and attempted burglary of a habitation. You can view a video report about the incident here.

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Dave Urbanski

Dave Urbanski

Sr. Editor, News

Dave Urbanski is a senior editor for Blaze News.
@DaveVUrbanski →