Whitlock: ESPN, Biden administration, and Alphabet Mafia have big plans for Brittney Griner

Apparently, it is ESPN’s job to transform Brittney Griner into the Kim Kardashian of the Alphabet Mafia.

The Worldwide Leader in Sports spent the weekend force-feeding fans updates on Griner’s activities since being released from a Russian penal colony. On Saturday, ESPN dutifully reported that Griner bonded with the flight crew that transported her back to U.S. soil. Sunday night, ESPN’s top investigative journalist, T.J. Quinn, breathlessly reported that Griner dunked a basketball during her first workout.

So far, Griner has bonded and dunked.

ESPN thinks nine months inside a Russian jail have made the mundane details of Brittney Griner’s freedom fascinating to the American public. ESPN is trying to establish the importance of Griner. The network has set about the business of justifying the Biden administration trading a notorious Russian arms dealer for an irresponsible, pothead hooper, whose real value derives from brown skin and lesbian sexual preference.

ESPN is operating under the fallacy that once the American public recognizes the magnitude of Griner’s stardom, President Joe Biden’s decision to trade a convicted terrorist for her release will make perfect sense.

Unlikely. What is likely is Viktor Bout assisting Russian President Vladmir Putin in his war effort against Ukraine. Meanwhile, Brittney Griner will assist the Alphabet Mafia in normalizing drag queen story hour, gender transformation surgery for kids, and prioritizing sexual and skin color identity above everything else.

It’s a very fair trade when you consider the importance of the work our government has planned for Griner.

She’s spending her first few days back on American soil at a military base, where I’m sure Department of Defense operatives are giving her the right talking points for her new life as a high-profile influencer.

From the ESPN news story about Griner’s practice dunk: “Several sources close to Griner have said that when she does leave, she will not head to her Phoenix home but to what they describe only as a private, secure location.”

Griner’s agent then told T.J. Quinn: “There’s no timeline on her return at this point. She’s reintegrating into a world that has changed for her now. From a pure security standpoint, she’s not going to be able to move in the world the way she did. It’s not a fate that she asked for, but I think she’s going to utilize her fame for good.”

Brittney Griner is famous now. She needs security. She must sequester and isolate herself from a dangerous mob of Americans who could do her harm. Nine months in a Russian jail turned Griner into Tall Kim Kardashian. Griner and her wife, Cherelle, are Alphabet Mafia royalty, the Meghan Markle and Prince Harry of the LGBTQ.

My snark may feel like animus. For that, I apologize. I do not dislike Brittney Griner.

I dislike the way Griner is being used by the Biden administration, corporate media, and the Left. She’s another dumb jock being steered in the direction of misguided social justice activism. She was unappreciative of her American freedom before Russia showed her what real oppression is. A $200,000 salary for playing a game that no one watches isn’t oppression. Getting locked up for 14 years for a tiny amount of hashish oil so you can be exchanged for a terrorist is oppression.

I wonder if Griner understands this now. I wonder if she’ll stand for the national anthem. Or will her Leftist handlers insist that she remain polarizing and divisive?

My instincts say that Nike and other globalist corporations will pay her to follow the path of Colin Kaepernick. Two white Christians rescued Kaepernick as a baby, and he repaid them by portraying them as racist in a Netflix documentary.

America saved Brittney Griner at a ridiculous and unwarranted cost. How will she repay America?

Griner, her agent, ESPN, and the WNBA better milk all 15 minutes of her fame. It won’t make it to minute 16. People will watch her sit-down interview with Oprah Winfrey, Don Lemon, or Robin Roberts. Her first WNBA will be watched by a few million people.

But there’s little substance to Griner and nothing interesting. She’s not even that good at basketball. She’s extremely tall. That’s it. She’s not Wilma Chamberlain. She’s never been MVP or a great scorer. Her dunks are unspectacular. She’s covered in unflattering tattoos. She’s not profound.

Like most woke modern athletes, her talking points come straight from Twitter.

Try as they might, neither ESPN nor the Biden administration will be able to elevate Griner’s importance to a level that justifies the trade for Viktor Bout.

A year from now, Griner and the WNBA will be back to trolling patriotic Americans for relevance. It wouldn’t surprise me if in two years, Griner is back playing basketball in Russia, signing an autograph for Viktor Bout.