Satan wrote a funny Super Bowl script

If you skipped the Super Bowl, you could catch all the bloopers online. There were no highlights. No defining moments of excellence.

Super Bowl LVIII peaked at the conclusion of halftime, when singer Usher Raymond finally brought out rappers Ludacris and Lil Jon to perform “Yeah.”

Those of you who skipped the Super Bowl, you spared yourself four hours of secular propaganda and watching a sloppy football game.

Other than that, Kansas City’s 25-22 overtime victory over San Francisco featured a string of miscues and the ending Taylor Swift haters predicted more than a month ago.

If there was a script, Jerry Seinfeld wrote it, and Mo, Larry, and Curly played the lead roles.

This was a bad Super Bowl, a title game defined by unforced errors, a lack of composure, another Kyle Shanahan coaching meltdown, a pair of heretical commercial ads, and Ice Spice making satanic gestures from the Swifty suite.

Let’s run through the Super Bloopers.

The NFL’s best offensive player, Christian McCaffrey, ruined the 49ers’ first possession, fumbling the ball in the Chiefs’ territory. San Fran’s second drive stalled when all-world offensive tackle Trent Williams committed back-to-back penalties.

Kansas City running back Isiah Pacheco coughed up the football in the first quarter. Pacheco’s fumble somehow triggered Swift’s boyfriend, Travis Kelce, to attack head coach Andy Reid. Kelce shoved and yelled at Reid. After a brief acknowledgement, broadcasters Jim Nantz and Tony Romo pretended the Kelce shove never happened. At halftime, CBS’ Nate Burleson prevented Hall of Fame coach Bill Cowher from addressing Kelce’s eruption.

To start the third quarter, Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes tossed an interception. At the end of the third quarter, the 49ers muffed a punt and put the Chiefs in position to take the lead.

At some point midway through the game, Shanahan abandoned his running game and placed the entire burden of the offense on quarterback Brock Purdy. Shanahan, of course, was the offensive coordinator of the Atlanta Falcons when Tom Brady and the Patriots rallied from a 28-3 Super Bowl deficit, thanks in part to Shanahan’s refusal to run the football.

Shanahan has now been a key contributor in blowing three different double-digit Super Bowl leads. He’s the NFL’s version of Doc Rivers, the NBA coach with a penchant for blowing 3-1 playoff series advantages.

I’m not trying to denigrate Patrick Mahomes, who won his third Super Bowl MVP, but nothing he did on Sunday overshadowed anything on this laundry list of mental and physical errors.

I’ve yet to mention the two main off-field errors.

Taylor Swift invited a devil worshipper to her suite. Ice Spice, a profane rapper, wore an upside-down cross around her neck while enjoying the big game alongside America’s allegedly harmless pop star. Cameras caught Ice Spice making satanic gestures with her hands and showcasing her upside-down cross.

After months of speculation that Swift’s involvement in the NFL narrative was about promoting the vaccine and Joe Biden, we now have a clue about her real agenda. She’s just another tool for the secular movement, the satanic cult that rules popular culture. Swift is the gateway drug to Ice Spice. Swift makes vapid music that prepares the senses for acceptance of degeneracy.

That was really the point of Super Bowl Sunday. It’s a platform for tolerance and glorification of everything secular.

The broadcast featured two “He Gets Us” commercials, the ads that allegedly promote the teachings of Jesus Christ. The ads portray Jesus as tolerant and supportive of everything related to “social justice.” The first ad focused on Christians washing the feet of illegal immigrants, a young woman seeking an abortion, a transgender man, a Black Lives Matter protester. The ad ends by declaring that “Jesus didn’t teach hate.”

Well, the truth is, God commands us to hate evil: “Ye that love the Lord, hate evil: he preserveth the souls of the saints; he delivereth them out of the hand of the wicked.”

Jesus washed the feet of His disciples. He did not wander the streets washing the feet of women seeking abortions or men seeking to change their sex. He washed the feet of the men most loyal to him. It was a show of humility and gratitude, not a display of tolerance of their sin.

Those of you who skipped the Super Bowl, you were quite wise. I say that as a Kansas City Chiefs fan, as someone pleased with the outcome. You didn’t miss anything worthwhile.

You spared yourself four hours of secular propaganda and watching a sloppy football game.