‘Baby Bron’ can’t fix LeBron’s bad Lakers marriage

According to conventional wisdom, bad marriages spiral into divorce around year seven. It’s called the “seven-year itch.”

LeBron James and the Los Angeles Lakers just concluded the sixth year of their shotgun marriage, losing to the Denver Nuggets in five games in the first round of the playoffs.

The Lakers don’t have a system, and they married a superstar player who only buys into himself.

Let’s look at the LeBron James Hollywood Experiment. The Lakers have missed the playoffs twice, exited in the first round twice, and advanced to the NBA Finals once. In 72 months, they won a single title with LeBron, the 2020 “COVID bubble” championship.

By Lakers standards, the marriage to LeBron has been a failure. In the 64-year history of the Los Angeles Lakers, the franchise has competed in 27 NBA Finals. On average, every 2.5 years, the Lakers play in the NBA Finals. With the league’s all-time leading scorer, the franchise has advanced to the NBA’s biggest stage once in six years.

This is a bad marriage. It’s showing all the signs.

What happens when spouses realize they’re in a sour marriage? One of the parties concludes adding a child will rekindle the spark that united them.

Shortly after the Nuggets eliminated the Lakers on Monday night, NBA information guru Shams Charania reported that owner Jeanie Buss was open to adding LeBron’s unqualified son Bronny James to the Lakers roster.

Making Bronny the NBA’s first “make-a-wish” kid is the key to salvaging this bad marriage.

Only in Hollywood.

I say that because many people will rush to lay all the blame for this failed experiment on LeBron James. An equal amount of blame falls on the Lakers’ outdated strategy.

The truth is, the Lakers have never been an expertly run sports franchise. I say that with the full knowledge that the great Jerry West served as the franchise’s general manager for nearly two decades, and legends Pat Riley and Phil Jackson coached the team through two dynasties.

But the Lakers have been the NBA’s most dominant franchise solely because it has been allowed to acquire the biggest and most dominant forces in basketball — Wilt Chamberlain, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Shaquille O’Neal, and LeBron James.

The Lakers didn’t draft and develop any of those players. They acquired them via trade or free agency. It’s good for the league to have its most indomitable forces located in the city known for creating TV icons. Plucking Chamberlain from Philadelphia, Abdul-Jabbar from Milwaukee, O’Neal from Orlando, and James from Cleveland served the NBA’s bottom line.

The NBA, like all sports leagues, is just another TV show.

But, given all the rule manipulation and the dramatic change in style of play, the formula no longer works. Wilt, Kareem, and Shaq played during a physical era when a brute in the low post created the space for his four other teammates to flourish.

The game is now spaced, three-point shooters rule, and an analytics-driven strategy delivers championships and consistent winning. LeBron hangs out along the three-point line like everyone else. His brute strength and physical advantages are nullified in the modern NBA.

Great coaching and homegrown talent are the key to consistent winning. You could see it in the Steve Kerr-Steph Curry Golden State dynasty. You can see it in what Michael Malone, Nikola Jokic, and the Denver Nuggets have built. You can see it with the Minnesota Timberwolves, the Oklahoma City Thunder, and even the Boston Celtics.

You need a system and players willing to buy into it.

The Lakers don’t have a system, and they married a superstar player who only buys into himself.

LeBron has had eight different NBA coaches. Paul Silas, Brendan Malone, Mike Brown, Erik Spoelstra, Ty Lue, David Blatt, Frank Vogel, and Darvin Ham. Ham is likely to be fired by the Lakers this offseason.

In comparison, starting with high school and including the Olympics, Michael Jordan had eight different basketball coaches: Clifton Harring in high school; Dean Smith in college; Bobby Knight at the 1984 Olympics; Kevin Lougherty, Stan Albeck, Doug Collins, and Phil Jackson with the Bulls; Chuck Daly at the 1992 Olympics; Doug Collins at the Wizards.

LeBron James is the Liz Taylor of basketball divorce. He’s in another toxic relationship. Adding Baby Bronny won’t fix what’s broken inside the Lakers organization.