Will The Real Tea Party Please Stand Up!

Please stand up. Because I and many others have no idea who or what you are anymore.

Are you a political party or a philosophy? A political action committee or a lobbying organization? Do you have a platform or are you shooting from the hip?

Is your name Rand Paul? Kind of a Libertarian Conservative, who has angered the right with your rally against voter ID and your call to restore voting rights to felons - 70 percent of whom are Democrats?

Or Marco Rubio who started out down the right path, but now you're looking more and more like a NeoCon?

Tea Party Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, speaks at a rally at the World War II Memorial in Washington Sunday, Oct. 13, 2013. Does Ted Cruz represent the real "Tea Party" or is it someone else? The "party" has a real identity crisis. Credit: AP

Maybe Ted Cruz? You're more Conservative than Libertarian and pretty religious, but you revere the Constitution and are a true intellect. Is that who you are?

Could you be Dr. Greg Brannon who got little support against your GOP backed opponent in North Carolina, yet didn’t really do all that poorly considering you ran with only 10 percent the budget of the winner?

Or might you be Ben Sasse who seems to say all the right things, but phoned Mitch McConnell minutes after your GOP Senate primary win in Nebraska?

Then again, you could be Matt Bevin, the multi-millionaire running against the most powerful Republican in the Senate, the exceedingly well-funded Mitch McConnell, but refusing to use a meaningful amount of your own money to boost your failing campaign.

Although, Bevin's Tea Party “ally” Sasse did call his primary opponent to make nice, so Mr. Bevin is probably just as confused as I am as to your true intentions and identity Tea Party.

Since you aren't saying much about who you are these days, I tried to figure it out on my own.

A quick search of the US Patent and Trademark Office’s database reveals that 195 entities have been granted trademarks for the words “Tea Party.” Around 40 percent are in use for some type of political purpose. Yet none tell us who you really are, or who speaks for and manages you.

Sorry, But You Have Issues

I hate to break it to you Tea Party, but you have big problems. Huge actually.

[sharequote align="center"]I hate to break it to you Tea Party, but you have big problems. Huge actually.[/sharequote]

For starters, you have no central command and control infrastructure. You are a ship adrift without a captain, heading toward the shallow rocks.

More importantly Tea Party, as you exist you have no effective fundraising mechanism. And without that you are nothing, zip, nada; because in elections money talks and toothless rhetoric runs the marathon. Right now you must be exhausted from all those miles.

Worst of all Tea Party, you have no messaging guru. No one to tell conspiracy theory nut jobs not to run for office on your brand. No one to tell Sept. 11 and Sandy Hook truthers to stop speaking on behalf of the Tea Party. As a result, you are marginalized and mocked by both the left and the Republican Party.

In this June 19, 2013, photo, Tea Party activists attend a rally on the grounds of the Capitol in Washington, Wednesday, June 19, 2013. (Photo: AP)

Here is a perfect example of what has me so confused: You sure seemed pretty angry when Jeb Bush called amnesty "an act of love." Then one of your leaders goes and takes the exact same position. So, which is it?

I'm sure you can see why we are all so lost as to where you stand on issues Tea Party.

I Just Don't Feel Like I Know You

So, what are you into?

Are you a Glenn Beck fan? Sean Hannity? Ann Coulter? Rush Limbaugh? Maybe a bit of them all? Or maybe none of them? Please don't let it be Alex Jones. But then again, I have no idea.

Are you a policy wonk who thinks that government organically grows until the citizens rein it in, or a conspiracy theorist who believes that our government executes false flag attacks to push unconstitutional restrictions under the guise of security?

I don't have a clue.

Could you just be a regular guy or girl who wants to pay less in taxes, have your kids get a good education, be able to protect your family with a firearm, and run your business with minimal regulation?

Getty Images.

I have no idea because one minute I see highly intelligent people like Rand Paul and Ted Cruz speaking for you, and the next a bunch of tin foil hat morons calling themselves Tea Party (insert local suffix here) telling me that the Air Force is dropping chemicals in my swimming pool while I sleep.

Do you consider yourself a coordinated national powerhouse, or a loose collection of local grass-roots groups?

Are you a Republican? A Libertarian? A Conservative? All? None? Some? Please, tell me. Tell us. Give us something. We are lost here.

You've Made Some Powerful Enemies

I don't know if you're aware, but your lack of management and organization has made you two very powerful enemies. The GOP, and the Democratic Party with their public relations wing, the mainstream media.

Your inability to get it together and find yourself a leader has allowed weirdos and lunatics to hijack your brand and use it as they see fit. You have given your enemies more than enough sound bites to label you a joke for decades.

Both the Democrat and Republican Parties never have to acknowledge that the Harvard educated Sen. Ted Cruz, a man about whom famed liberal law professor Alan Dershowitz said: “Without a doubt he is among the smartest students I’ve ever had… I’ve had great students but he has to be at the top of anyone’s short list, in terms of raw brain power,” sees himself in your camp.

Instead, both parties dig deep to find every racist, anti-government felon, and insanity spewing podcaster who has ever called themselves a member of the Tea Party and present them as your faces. Sadly, never once have I seen you push back.

Imagine the crisis public relations campaign that the Republican and Democratic National Committees would launch were someone to hijack their brand without their endorsement and go off message.

But you just sit idly by and let it happen day in and day out. In print, on the radio, on TV, and most egregiously on social media every single minute of every single day.

You see it, you read it, you hear it, you watch it. Yet you do nothing. Not a thing. You allow it, and as a result of your permissive behavior, your narrative is created for you. I hope you realize that it isn't a pretty one.

Worst of all, both the Democrats and GOP spend massive amounts of money to destroy you, and there is little you can do because you never gave much thought on how to shoot back.

The mainstream media eats it up, with the editorially left Washington Post rooting for your failure.

But despite all that, Americans still believe in you. They still want you to win. To get up, dust yourself off, and fight. You need to know they are losing enthusiasm because you have not remained true to who you first were.

When we first met, you were a logical, constitutional, small government movement who put We The People first. Who came into existence to tell government what it could and should not do by helping elect those who understood that elections should result in representatives, not rulers.

You were someone who I wanted to hang out with because you got it. Now I don't know if you're still that, or the conspiracy fan who lives in mom's basement building a Faraday Cage.

Why can’t you get it together?

So Tea Party, who are you, and what are you going to do about all of this?

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