The great DC meltdown, block by block

Washington is in a panic that goes far beyond what you see in the news and from elected Democrats and reporters. Wealthy Lululemon moms on Capitol Hill are rushing to organize “federal employee appreciation groups.” One lobbyist who worked for Senate Republicans for 20 years sent an email to a neighborhood listserv hoping to find a USAID flag to fly in front of her house in solidarity with the endangered global slush fund. No one had one handy, so in the meantime she’s settled for making USAID’s seal her Facebook profile background.

We’ve seen a rattled Washington before, but this is special. And it could fundamentally reshape the city.

The ‘shining city on a hill’ has long more closely resembled a well-oiled machine in a swamp.

They have real reason to be worried. President Donald Trump’s White House has sacked and accepted resignations from tens of thousands of federal employees. The conversation on neighborhood social groups and at school pickups first turned to trying to find babysitters now that six-figure employees are expected in the office, then to whether to accept the buyout offer (that now expires Monday), where to move to in Canada, and generally what happens next.

It’s impossible not to detect an incredible sense of entitlement infused with all the raw anger. It’s also impossible to detect even a hint of self-awareness among well-paid, over-educated, and decidedly unelected government employees complaining that an unelected Elon Musk is to blame for all their troubles.

The professional class of the nation’s capital has long been insulated from the economic problems that beset Americans as close as a few blocks away. The housing market, for example, has essentially been immune to downward cycles; even the 2008 housing crisis that ravaged the country barely registered here, amid uninterrupted government growth and generous taxpayer salaries. This is just one part that is threatened by the president’s reshaping of the federal government.

While a great many federal employees enjoy salaries, benefits, job protections, and schedule flexibility that would be the envy of their fellow Americans, few have the skills necessary to survive beyond the Beltway. This isn’t the equivalent of an auto shop going out of business, forcing its mechanics to find new garages across town. For government employees, this is essentially industry-wide. Where will they go to replace those salaries? What skills do they bring to private companies? How will the city’s massive nonprofit and nongovernmental organization economy support tens of thousands of suddenly unemployed loyal comrades when they too have been removed from the taxpayer teat? Who will pay for it all now that the taxpayer won’t?

These career feds are in serious trouble. The contractors who make hundreds of millions from them are also in serious trouble. Their skills are not needed; we’ve streamlined the job.

It’s no coincidence that D.C. votes over 90% Democrat, with the few Republicans voting in their primary for the neocon alternative to Trump. The “shining city on a hill” has long more closely resembled a well-oiled machine in a swamp. The much-pooh-poohed Politico Pro scandal illustrates the circular nature of this economy perfectly: Government pays millions a year to read insider coverage on the government for the government, and around and around we go.

That little fishbowl is finally threatened. And it will impact people. They will need to move. Hundreds of millions in overpriced mortgages will be off-loaded. People will need to do this in the next year or so, and by the tens of thousands. The tap has been turned off.

Thus far (and likely going forward), the administration has focused entirely on the dull, gray bureaucracy and left the incredibly lucrative defense industry alone. That means if you live in one of D.C.'s many mansion suburbs, you might be fine for now. But that overpriced, $1.1 million, three-bedroom, two-bath, 1970s ranch house in an ugly neighborhood of Arlington, Virginia? Not so much.

And the White House isn’t finished. Word is that the administration is just beginning. Officials are closing buildings, cutting real estate, and introducing AI to smoke out fraud, redundancy, and abuse in federal contracts. They’re outpacing even the many lawsuits trying to slow them down.

Keep it going, and the entire system will begin to change. It’s causing a terrible stir here in Washington. In the rest of the country, however? Don't expect the people who for decades have suffered under D.C. dictates (and, for at least 15 years, demanded change) to shed too many tears. To paraphrase America’s 46th president, “Anybody who can throw coal into a furnace can learn how to program, for God’s sake!”

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