‘My Unfair Lady’ premieres in Chicago

Many pundits and social media wags point out that Kamala Harris sticks closely to a script during her rallies. Her surprise appearance at the Democratic National Convention in Chicago on Monday night was no different. They also note that she avoids one-on-one interviews, which could lead to off-the-cuff questions that might reveal more about her character and her policies.

So what’s up with Harris and her campaign? And why, before now, hasn’t she been visible for weeks and weeks after she was bequeathed the Democratic Party’s nomination for president?

Kamala has gone from a cackling-Cockney Eliza Doolittle to a shining star receiving kudos from coast to coast.

Could it be that the powers that be in the Democratic Party decided they needed to temporarily hide away this modern-day Pygmalion subject and take time to turn her into a polished example of wit and sophistication? Is the “script” right out of the Broadway and movie musical, “My Fair Lady,” based on George Bernard Shaw’s play?

To me it seems obvious, but I had to know for sure. So please forgive me, but by applying a little nefarious initiative, I was able to find out what truly has been going on.

Using a toothpick and an unbent paper clip (a la MacGyver) I was able to hack into the DNC's computer system. And sure enough, there it was: the script! Complete with musical numbers, costuming, stage directions — everything!

I soon found myself humming along with this poorly crafted little ditty:

The blame
In the main
Stays mainly
On the lame

(And the “lame” are, needless to say, MAGA and Trump supporters.)

The script has detailed instructions on how to take Kamala’s annoying cackle and, with much practice, turn it into a joyful smile (“joy” being the key lesson here). Kamala has gone from a cackling-Cockney Eliza Doolittle to a shining star receiving kudos from coast to coast.

The number-one lesson I found in the script was that Kamala — who chose for a running mate Tim Walz (talk about a musical name!) to play a dusted-off Professor Henry Higgins — was to stick to the script!

And to ensure a big, boffo, hit production, the script has been circulated in advance to the “critics” in the mainstream media and those working in the wings and behind the curtains in the Democratic establishment, deep state, and all far-left institutions.

Well, unfortunately, the performance, such as it is, continues to play out. We’ll see its world premiere on stage at the United Center in Chicago on Thursday night. But will it be a big enough hit to remain on stage through November 5? Will people accept this new Doolittle, understudy to Joe Biden, or realize that she is still the same old Do Nothing, with or without the former star of the show?

Let’s hope that “With a Little Bit of (Bad) Luck,” the production closes quickly. Given all the lies flooding this new script, “My Unfair Lady” might be a more fitting title for this revival. The sooner the curtain comes down on this pilfered and twisted script, the better.

Editor’s note: A version of this article appeared originally at American Thinker.