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Ma'am in the Mirror: Spinster celebs tout joy of self-love
Alexy Udovichenko/NBC/Getty Images

Ma'am in the Mirror: Spinster celebs tout joy of self-love

Jon Stewart thinks Dems should chuck Cheney, Snipes-free 'Blade' bites the dust, and conservative docs dominate.

You don’t spend years trashing former Vice President Dick Cheney and then suddenly embrace the GOP leader.

Well, Kamala Harris and Tim Walz do, but not far-left funnyman Jon Stewart.

The guy they said is unfit to run for president is currently the president. Nobody has any issue with that. Which makes it very obvious that he’s not the president.

During an interview with Walz, the former and current “Daily Show” host had a simple reaction to Cheney’s support for the Democratic ticket:

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!”

When the knucklehead in chief pointed out that they'd also landed the endorsement of a certain mega pop star, Stewart was not consoled.

“What country did Taylor Swift get us to invade?” he asked.

When court jesters have more backbone than your presidential ticket, you know there’s trouble.

Go Wes

Wesley Snipes must be laughing up his sleeve.

The action icon played Marvel’s antihero “Blade” in three films, all before the MCU took over Hollywood in 2008, starting with “Iron Man.” But when Disney decided to revive the vampire slayer, it went to Oscar winner Mahershala Ali to play the lead.

Great choice, but why not Snipes? He’s still fit at 62, and he brought the character back in the summer’s blockbuster “Deadpool & Wolverine.” He hasn’t lost a step.

Maybe the Comic-Con gods have smiled upon Snipes after all. The “Blade” revival has had more delays than days shooting. The project’s director stepped down earlier this year, and an alleged peek at the early script — which six writers have taken a whack at so far — showed it was as woke as a “Captain Marvel” trilogy.

As Blade himself said, "Some mother****ers are always trying to ice-skate uphill."

Now the film has been taken off the 2025 release schedule, with no update in sight. Snipes isn’t getting any younger, but why not hand the story back to him and be done with it?

Doc crock

Liberal Hollywood reporters have their heads in the sand. That’s the kindest explanation for missing too many great stories to count.

Need an example? The far-left Deadline shares a podcast recap on the state of documentaries. One takeaway? Gosh, conservatives just can’t seem to make a decent one.

Really. Really?

  • "What Is a Woman?"
  • "Am I Racist?" (the most successful doc in a decade)
  • "The Fall of Minneapolis"
  • "How Jack Became Black"
  • "What Killed Michael Brown"
  • "Created Equal: Clarence Thomas in His Own Words"

That’s just off the top of this scribe’s head. “Minneapolis” may be the most impactful film I’ve seen in years. Haunting. Powerful. Unforgettable.

It’s bad enough that Hollywood tilts to the left so hard it hurts. Can’t a few honest journalists cover the biz without liberal blinders on?

Biden his time

It must be nice to be a rebel comic like Tim Dillon.

The podcaster tells the jokes others in the mainstream won’t. The reward? Both a Netflix stand-up special and now a new Netflix comedy called “This Is Your Country.” Think the best of "The Jerry Springer Show" ... but intentionally funny.

Now he’s calling out the biggest news scandal of the year. Except no one in the mainstream press will cover it.

Who is our president again?

It’s technically Joe Biden, but we all realized after the June 27 presidential debate that he’s but a figurehead at this point.

So Dillon said as much:

The guy they said is unfit to run for president is currently the president. Nobody has any issue with that. Which makes it very obvious that he’s not the president. Nobody’s worried about his senility in any real sense because he wasn’t removed from the presidency. He’s sitting in the Oval Office supposedly making decisions about America. We’re supposed to believe that.

He's right. Of course. Late-night comics were too busy raising money for Biden’s doomed re-election campaign to joke about it.

Solemates

Celebrities are always one step ahead of us normies. Maybe two.

Consider Britney Spears and Chelsea Handler. While most of us saps are trying to find our soulmates, these two did it in a heartbeat: They looked in the mirror.

Handler recently bragged that she has a great relationship with herself and doesn’t need a man, something that threatens the fellas.

Not to be outdone, Spears shared a wedding picture on her Instagram feed announcing she had married herself.

Can you do a wedding registry for one?

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Christian Toto

Christian Toto

Christian Toto is the founder of HollywoodInToto.com and the host of “The Hollywood in Toto Podcast.”