How to survive international travel with 3 kids under 3

Richard Hanania recently posted a frank and excellent essay called The Opportunity Costs of Having Kids, where he quoted Otto von Bismarck, sympathizing with one of the world’s great statesman’s disdain for traveling with young ones. Bismarck wrote:

The nearer it comes the more I see this as a ticket to the madhouse or to the Upper Chamber of parliament for life. I see myself with children on the platform at Genthin station, then in the compartment where both satisfy their needs ruthlessly and emit an evil stink, the surrounding society holding its nose. Johanna too embarrassed to give the baby the breast so he screams himself blue, the battle with the crowd, the inn, screaming children on Stettin station and in Angermünde 1 hour waiting for horses, packing up, and how do we get from Kröchlendorf to Külz? If we had to spend the night in Stettin, that would be terrible. I went through that last year with Marie and her screaming … I am, I feel, somebody to whom a dreadful injustice has been done. Next year I shall have to travel with three cradles, three nurses, nappies for three, bed clothes; I wake at 6 in the morning in a gentle rage and cannot sleep at night because I am haunted by all sorts of travel pictures, which my fantasy paints in the blackest hues, right to the picnics in the dune of Stolpmünde. And if there were only daily payments for this but instead it causes the ruin of a once flourishing fortune by traveling with infants — I am very unhappy.

Oh, dear. I’m sorry to say the truth of the matter is indeed as brutal as Bismarck describes, and like so many things about kids, there’s really no way around the brutality other than through with your chin held high, despite it all.

Peace — at least the kind you once enjoyed as a single person — is one of the casualties of parenthood, and no quantity of ethereal tradwife reels on Instagram are likely to change that.

My expectations were low, and they were met! Clementine screamed at the top of her lungs the entire way through security! Fortunately, I'd had the foresight to prepare for the worst; or, as I like to call it: front loading grace.

Before I get into the nitty gritty details, let me also recommend cultivating patience — both with your children and with yourself. It takes time to adjust.

As for my family, now that we’re adjusting to a sleep schedule, things are improving, and I’m confident that once we get our sea legs, we will enjoy ourselves more than we don’t. We are learning how to be in a new place, while the kids are simply learning to be civilized human beings. It takes time.

The following are some items that really helped. If there’s anything notable here, it’s that we don’t have iPads. That said, we relied on the provided screens, and yes, my 3-year-old watched three movies.

Wonderfold Wagon

I hope I can meme a sponsorship into existence here, because I could sing the praises of the Wonderfold Wagon all day long.

Americans have been some of the greatest innovators in the field of child transportation, partially of necessity. The Wonderfold, designed and manufactured in California, lives up to the hype.

This wagon is heavy, but it holds our kids and, in the airport, much of our luggage. We checked a bag for each person, had carry-ons, and personal bags. The wagon held the carry-ons and the kids comfortably. At the airport, you can request to check the bag at the gate. If your flight is especially full, you can also check carry-ons for free, so be sure to ask about that and make sure you keep your necessities in the personal bags if so.

Since we’ve been here, the wagon has been amazing for keeping the children contained. Because it’s so big with a flat bottom, they can even nap inside. It truly doubles as a pack-and-play for the baby.

We have the W4 Luxe model. It comes with all sorts of accoutrements, and some are sold separately: removable seats with seatbelts, a cupholder, a tray, a canopy. I bought this wagon cover for checking it, and it was not even remotely damaged (I saw two other families with broken strollers at the end of the day).

You will check the wagon at the gate and can request if you have layovers (as we did, one in Munich) to receive it again at each stop.

If you are a reasonable person who spaced their children in a more reasonable manner, then this might not be necessary, but none of ours are yet capable of self-government, so this portable jailhouse is just perfect for us!

Annie's Homegrown snacks

Snacks are a time-honored way of keeping toddlers on an even keel. My requirements are that they be relatively healthy and leave a minimal mess — the latter especially important within the confines of a typical airplane seat. As usual, my go-to purveyor was Annie’s Homegrown, founded by Connecticut farmer and entrepreneur Annie Withey in 1989.

I bought variety packs of cheddar bunnies, bunny grahams, fruit leather, and fruit snacks. These were excellent ways to curb meltdowns at various junctures and were small enough to fit into their surprise backpacks (see section three).

Surprise backpacks

Novelty is also an efficient way to stave off restlessness. So I packed each child a backpack with new toys that they could use on the plane. They included:

• Mess-Free Puffy Stickers
• Dollies
• Headphones
• Bluey Camera

First aid kit

My baby has allergies, and I was worried about being able to find his OTC Zyrtec overseas. Also, the prospect of pouring liquid medicine on a cramped plane while they were crawling all over me was daunting. So I found some single-use, premeasured vials of various medications: Diphenhydramine for allergy relief (and to induce drowsiness ...) as well as acetaminophen for fevers and guaifenesin for cough and congestion. The brand, DrKids, is a subsidiary of the Calm Company, out of Sarasota, Floridaa.

I randomly grabbed Band-Aids and antibiotic ointment to go with the rest of George’s eczema kit, and I’m glad I did, because not three minutes into the trip, he bumped his eyebrow on the stroller and broke skin. Welly bandages are my favorite. Cute and, most importantly, effective.

Lollipops

Lollipops help with the air-pressure changes. 10/10. And these taste great with no artificial nonsense.

Honorable mentions because the European lack of air conditioning feels like hell: a 100% cotton change of clothes, a portable fan, and cooling wipes.

I plan on publishing a guide every week on whatever I learn along the way, because I’m learning a lot. The hard way, most times.